I was so stunned that it took me three attempts to hang the telephone handset on the receiver.
The message had been brief and to the point: “My family is OK now so I don’t really need you for a friend anymore”.
Just about everyone has gone through the social leper stage – that time when you are lowest social outcast stage in school, unit or other type of social unit. Hopefully it happens once, and then during the younger and more flexible years in life. This was happening to me during early middle age and it involved one of the few places you expect to be emotionally safe – at church To this day I’m not sure how I ended up the congregation’s primary pariah but I was – and my last source of help had just turned their back on me, after we had sacrificed time, money and a change to move home to Alaska to aid the people in question.
I’m not sure of the exact sequence of event after that call, but I am sure of what the eventual outcome was. As I was preparing to take a permanent solution to a temporary problem Belle intervened and stopped me.
Yes, you read that correctly. Belle – my Great Pyrenees companion (I’ve never liked “dog” or “pet” as neither really fits completely)
She thrashed about and raised hell which broke the hold whatever depressive, destruction auto-pilot was running my brain at the time.
She saved my life and I never forgot it. That genetic tendency to watch over and protect had made itself manifest in a most spectacular manner and for the rest of the time we spent together on this earth I always knew she was continuing to watch over me.
She’s gone now. She took a nap Tuesday afternoon and never woke up. She’s finally free from the aches and pains that had been plaguing her, no doubt running and playing through celestial meadows with Sasha, Punky and Mitzi.
A part of my heart went with her …and I wonder who will watch over me now.